When Did Common Courtesy Become Uncommon?


"If you don't share with your sister, I'll take your ice cream away."

Her tone was gentle yet firm. Her son, who appeared to be about 7 or 8 years old, pouted but didn't say anything. He clearly did not want to share his ice cream with his little sister, who didn't have any.

"Why would you share your ice cream with me but not with your sister?" his mom continued. "That's rude." She wasn't harsh or angry toward her son, but she wasn't afraid to enforce the rules, either. Finally, he relented and gave his sister a spoonful of ice cream.

Nowadays, it seems like that sort of parenting would be labeled mean or even abusive. (Though I prefer the term "basic human decency.") Recently I was talking to one of my friends about some of the larger families I've known where 2 or 3 children would have to share a bedroom. She was appalled! She told me that she believed it was wrong to make children share a bedroom for any reason. Personally, I do not subscribe to the "sharing is child abuse" mentality. As an only child, I've never had to share a bedroom, but I've had to share many other things with friends, cousins, etc. From a very young age, I knew that the world didn't revolve around me. (And believe me, if I'd had siblings, we most certainly would have shared a bedroom at some point.)

I often hear people arguing about whether society is "too soft" or "not soft enough." Usually, liberals claim that people are too rude/insensitive, while conservatives say that people have gotten overly sensitive and are too easily offended. What neither side seems to realize is that both problems have the same root cause—selfishness. People with a self-centered worldview will often have double standards. They will trample on others' rights and feelings yet demand that their own rights and feelings be treated with great care. That is because, quite simply, they value their own needs and desires far above anyone else's. This goes against basic American values (and Biblical values as well). You can't say you believe in a free and equal society if you also believe that you are more important than everybody else and you should get to play by different rules.

So to the lady in front me in line at the M&M's store in Las Vegas: thank you for raising your children to be kind and thoughtful. And thank you for teaching me that you can find good people anywhere—even in the middle of "Sin City."

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others" (Philippians 2:3-4). 

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