The Road Less Traveled

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." —1 Peter 3:3-4 This Bible verse is often used to silence women and shame them for being assertive or outspoken. However, in context, having a quiet and gentle spirit isn't just for women—and it doesn't mean you have to be a doormat.  In a Biblical sense, "quiet" does not mean timid. It means you have a sense of confidence that comes from within. It doesn't mean that you can't set boundaries or stand up for what's right. You don't literally have to be silent or passive. It means that you use your words and actions in a way that glorifies God rather than glorifying yourself. The idea of "quietness" is contrasted with focusing on one's outward appearance. Be...

This is it, I thought as I reached for the book. Girl Defined. This is what I've been looking for. I was a young teenager, I had low self-esteem, and I was longing for a sense of purpose. Maybe this book would show me what my purpose was as a girl. Maybe it would help me fix my messed-up life. Or maybe not. Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal's bad theology and rigid gender roles came packaged in a pretty, pink floral design. Like many teenage girls, I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. I was so happy to finally feel like my life had a purpose—even if that purpose was to bear children and become a housewife. I'd never really felt special before, but reading GirlDefined books and articles made me feel like I was unique and different from the other girls my age. I wanted to rebel, so I rebelled against society's expectations of me. Instead of focusing on my education, I focused on homemaking skills. Rather than wearing shorts and tank tops, I wore long skirts and pl...

"Why can't you just let it go?" That sentiment, in some form or another, has been echoed throughout my life. As a young girl, I learned that "good Christians" not only forgive but forget. However, that mentality left me vulnerable to bullying, harassment, and abuse. As I got older, I began to resent having to forgive and forget. I tried to let go of the past, but no matter how hard I tried, the past wouldn't let go of me. Eventually, I learned that forgiveness is about more than just letting go. It's about holding on—to your faith, to your values, and to your well-being. Forgiveness is not the absence of the storm, but learning to dance in the rain. Also, forgiveness is not a re-writing of your story. It is a re-framing of your story. And yes, there is a difference. Re-writing means that you ignore or cover up what has happened to you. Re-framing means that you acknowledge what has happened to you, while also keeping the bigger picture in mind....

First of all, I'd like to point out that "women's ministry" is not the same thing as women in ministry. I am very supportive of Godly women being involved in church ministries. I am also supportive of churches that do a good job of ministering to women. In fact, that's exactly why I'm against the concept of "women's ministry." I don't believe that sex-segregated ministries benefit women. They do just the opposite. "Women's ministries" pretend that they are giving women opportunities, when in fact they are limiting the influence of women. Have you ever noticed that almost every "traditional" church has a women's ministry, whereas many egalitarian churches don't? That's because women's ministry was created to give women something to do without letting them have *too much* power or influence. Women's ministry allows women to "lead" other women (in a very limited capacity), while also ma...

I often hear other Christians talk about tithing as though it’s something the Bible mandates. But is that really true? What does the Bible actually say about tithing? First of all, I’d like to point out that not one verse in the New Testament commands Christians to tithe. Not one. Tithing is based on Old Testament laws that required Israelites to bring 10 percent of their crops and livestock to the temple. According to gotquestions.org, the Old Testament tithe was “a method of taxation to provide for the needs of the priests and Levites in the sacrificial system.”  Here’s what the New Testament does say about giving:  “Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7). Giving is a highly personal issue with no easy answer. Yes, we are all called to give generously, but that looks different for everyone based on life circumstances. For a single parent, or ...