The Road Less Traveled

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." —1 Peter 3:3-4 This Bible verse is often used to silence women and shame them for being assertive or outspoken. However, in context, having a quiet and gentle spirit isn't just for women—and it doesn't mean you have to be a doormat.  In a Biblical sense, "quiet" does not mean timid. It means you have a sense of confidence that comes from within. It doesn't mean that you can't set boundaries or stand up for what's right. You don't literally have to be silent or passive. It means that you use your words and actions in a way that glorifies God rather than glorifying yourself. The idea of "quietness" is contrasted with focusing on one's outward appearance. Be

This is it, I thought as I reached for the book. Girl Defined. This is what I've been looking for. I was a young teenager, I had low self-esteem, and I was longing for a sense of purpose. Maybe this book would show me what my purpose was as a girl. Maybe it would help me fix my messed-up life. Or maybe not. Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal's bad theology and rigid gender roles came packaged in a pretty, pink floral design. Like many teenage girls, I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. I was so happy to finally feel like my life had a purpose—even if that purpose was to bear children and become a housewife. I'd never really felt special before, but reading GirlDefined books and articles made me feel like I was unique and different from the other girls my age. I wanted to rebel, so I rebelled against society's expectations of me. Instead of focusing on my education, I focused on homemaking skills. Rather than wearing shorts and tank tops, I wore long skirts and pl

Giftedness and intensity are two sides of the same coin. Gifted people's intensity is what leads to asynchrony, or uneven development. We're ahead of our years in some ways, yet certain skills are lagging behind. Gifted people tend to be exceptionally passionate and have strong interests. As a result, we can have trouble fitting in with others who just don't "get it." Kazimierz Dabrowski, a psychologist, originally came up with the idea of "gifted over-excitabilities." While I agree with his ideas, I don't like to call them over-excitabilities because that suggests that there's something wrong or "too much" with gifted people. Instead, I prefer the term "intensities," which I feel is more accurate.  Types of Intensities:  • People with physical intensity tend to be active and high-energy. They like to be involved in many things. They can come across as restless or impatient. They're often sensitive to light, sound, t

As humans, we naturally want to label things (and people). We’re wired to notice patterns and lump together similar people, objects, ideas, etc. And you know what? Despite what our politically correct culture would tell you, labeling isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Of course nobody is defined by any one label. Of course we shouldn’t reduce people to stereotypes. But... Labels still matter. Labels, when they’re accurate, can be quite useful. If you’re short, I know you might need help reaching things on high shelves. If you’re left-handed, I know not to give you the right-handed scissors. If you have a learning disability, I know to be extra patient with you in certain areas. And if you’re gifted or twice-exceptional, I know that your mind works similarly to mine. Labeling isn’t necessarily a better-than/worse-than statement. It just is what it is. When I point out that one can of soup is tomato and the other is chicken noodle, I’m not saying that tomato soup is better. I’m just

Myth #1: Everyone is gifted.  Fact: While everyone has unique talents and traits, not everyone is considered “gifted.” Gifted people think about and process things differently than others do. Giftedness is a real, observable trait—just like height and hair color. Is everyone tall? Does everyone have red hair? Obviously not. And not everyone is gifted. Myth #2: Gifted people are rare or unusual.  Fact: About 10 percent of the population is considered gifted. And many more people may be at least somewhat gifted without receiving the label. Like many things, giftedness is on a spectrum. Myth #3: Gifted students always do well in school and don’t need any special help.  Fact: Gifted people tend to have unique challenges in school. They often need special support. Some gifted people do very well in school, especially if they have supportive parents, friends, and teachers. However, without proper support, gifted children are at risk of acting out, dropping out, or mentally “check

When people hear the word "gifted," they tend to make a lot of assumptions. They assume that gifted children are mature, high achievers, and talented in every subject. Also, there's an underlying belief that gifted children have it easy and will do just fine on their own. However, those assumptions are false. There are many ways to be gifted, and all gifted children (and adults) are different. Academically gifted children most closely match the stereotype of the gifted child. They excel in language, history, science, and/or math. Children who are gifted in the visual/performing arts tend to have good coordination and/or creative expression. They excel in areas such as painting, dancing, playing an instrument, or playing a sport. Socially/emotionally gifted children are good at reading people's emotions, and they have good insight. They tend to excel at leading and influencing others. However, giftedness is more than just talent, and not all gifted students are hig

Recently I read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I've been wanting to read it for a while, so I'm glad that I finally got the chance. I enjoyed reading it because I feel that it's relevant to me. I always enjoy reading books that I can apply to my own life, especially when it comes to my relationships. In his book, Chapman outlines the 5 "love languages," or ways of showing love: • Words of Affirmation • Physical Touch • Giving Gifts • Quality Time • Acts of Service Chapman proposes that we have 1 or 2 dominant love languages. For example, one person might need lots of physical touch while another values acts of service. While that's probably true, I think that a healthy relationship involves all 5 love languages. We need all of the love languages, even those that don't come as naturally to us. While I was reading the book, I thought about my own relationships. I noticed that the "well-rounded" relationships (where we were

Note: This was not written to judge, shame, or condemn anyone. I believe that whether or not you wear makeup or high heels is ultimately between you and God. I know many kind, Godly women who wear makeup/heels, and I respect their right to make that choice. Issues of personal preference should not divide us as Christians. Ultimately, it's not what we wear that matters—it's what's in our hearts. That being said, I want to share my perspective on this issue because I feel like it's relevant to my life.  Reason #1: Makeup and high heels are expensive. • Makeup and heels come with a high price, both money-wise and body-wise. As Christians, we're called to be good stewards of our resources, including money. I feel that it's irresponsible to waste money on makeup and fancy shoes when it could be spent on more worthy causes. Also, we're called to treat our bodies as temples of God. I don't think that clogging my pores with makeup and exposing myself to all