Why I Kissed Competition Goodbye

Competition is woven into the very fabric of our culture. It's as American as pickup trucks, John Wayne movies, and apple pie. Or so people say. My friends and I usually roll our eyes at whatever "latest and greatest" thing our culture rolls out. Personally, I don't participate in—or view—competitive events. I don't watch Cutthroat Kitchen or Toddlers & Tiaras. And I don't care who got an Oscar nomination or who won the Super Bowl.

Why? Because those things aren't important to me. And they shouldn't matter to you—or to anyone else, either. Just so you know, I'm not saying this out of bitterness or resentment. I'm saying it from experience. As a child, I won my fair share of medals and trophies. By high school, I was obsessed with "being the best." My schedule was full of Honors classes and varsity sports. And you know what? All that pressure was just too much.

But really, I'm not against competition because it puts too much pressure on people or because it hurts their self-esteem (even though both of those statements are true). I'm against competition because its very essence violates who we are as people of God. Competition makes other people's approval the main goal. Christianity makes God's approval the main goal. "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ" (Galatians 1:10).

The Bible makes it clear that we can't worship both God and money (Matthew 6:4). In a broader context, "money" isn't just about dollars and cents. It's about dominance, status, and control. This desire for power is "the root of all kinds of evil" (1 Timothy 6:10). We see it everywhere. We see it in childhood bullies who humiliate others to make themselves look better by comparison. We see it in abusive parents and spouses who hurt their families to make themselves feel powerful. We see it in large, multinational companies that exploit people and the environment for profit. And sadly, sometimes we even see it in our own churches.

The solution is simple: dismantle our culture of comparison. If we want people to be kind, generous, and humble, then we have to stop rewarding them for being aggressive, greedy, and selfish. If you teach your child that it's good to succeed at others' expense, don't be surprised when that lesson gets applied to things beyond the football field or the science fair.

Am I calling for an end to art, academics, and athletics? No, of course not. I'm only saying that these things aren't inherently competitive. Competing against others isn't necessary for success or self-improvement. For example, I enjoy archery, but I don't do it competitively. I measure myself against the target—not against other people. Competition also isn't necessary for pleasure. By nature, competition shifts our focus toward winning and away from enjoying the activity itself.

It's obvious why Americans are more stressed and depressed than ever before. We have full schedules and empty lives. We've traded church, family, and leisure for popularity and a paycheck. And at some point, we have to ask ourselves, is it really worth it? I know many people who own fancy houses, but they're almost never home. I also know people who live in small, modest homes and have joyful, contented lives. Clearly, worldly "success" is not the path to happiness. As Christians, we are called to pursue faith and family, not fame and fortune.

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matthew 6:19-21).