Social Skills and the Green Personality
A little kid who reads thick novels while her classmates are working on their ABC's?
A high school student who never studies, yet somehow makes 100's on every math test?
A scientist/professor/computer programmer with two Ph.D's hanging on the wall?
Out of all the personality styles, Greens most closely fit the stereotype of "smart people." Greens tend to have lots of strategic smarts, also known as analytical skills. They're good at solving problems and evaluating things logically. Greens pride themselves on their efficiency, knowledge, and innovation. These skills are often measured on IQ tests, giving Greens an advantage.
But are Greens really smarter than the rest of us? Not necessarily. The truth is that there are many different ways to be smart. While "book smarts" are important, they don't show the whole picture. For example, Gold personalities tend to have strong organizational skills. Orange personalities tend to have lots of street smarts. And Blue personalities tend to have good people skills, which Greens often lack.
So, why do Greens have such a hard time socially? It's all about empathy. Greens, who prefer to be analytical and objective, aren't naturally good at empathizing with others. They can also be socially awkward.
Here are some common "road blocks" for Green personalities:
#1: Lack of interest in socializing
• Green personalities tend not to be social butterflies. It's not that they dislike socializing—they just find other activities more interesting. As a result, they miss out on opportunities to refine their social skills. Social skills are not 100% innate. They have to be practiced just like any other skill.
#2: Low emotional awareness
• Green personalities strongly favor logic over emotion. Greens tend to focus on what is being said (the logic) rather than how it is being said (the emotion). They may not notice subtle emotional cues that would catch most people's attention. Because of this, Greens may not realize that they've offended someone or made a social blunder.
#3: Blunt communication style
• Green personalities tend to value truth over tact, and their values are reflected in their communication style. Greens are natural problem-solvers, so they're likely to point out mistakes when they see them. However, not everyone appreciates blunt criticism. Also, Greens are prone to arguing because they see debate as the best way to explore ideas. They may genuinely be confused when others take arguments personally.
#4: "Weird" or "nerdy" interests
• Greens tend to be highly interested in academics—which, sadly, are not always valued in American culture. Their passion for science, literature, and history is often met with disdain. And they generally show very little interest in "trendy" topics like fashion and sports. Green females in particular may suffer socially, as they don't conform to gender roles.
#5: Independence
• Finally, Green personalities may come across as socially awkward simply because they don't care about social customs as much as others do. As big-picture thinkers, they may not see the point in trivial things such as small talk. And they tend to question rules and authority, which can get them into trouble.
Of course, people can learn to improve skills that don't come naturally to them. But the reality is that Greens have to work harder to develop social skills—just like some of us have to work harder when it comes to book smarts. If you have friends or family members who are Green, remember not to take their words and behaviors personally. Understand that argumentativeness and aloofness (among other traits) are just part of the Green personality.
If you're Green, it can be difficult to balance your need to fit in with your tendency to stand out. Some Greens withdraw socially, becoming shy and self-conscious. They may try to mask their personality traits or pretend to be "normal." And some may go to the other extreme, rebelling against authority and social customs by being loud, crude, and rude. Obviously, it's important for Greens to avoid going to either extreme while also staying true to themselves.
So, how can socially awkward personalities be a little less awkward?
#1: Be yourself. Chances are, trying to be someone else won't make you any less awkward. If anything, it'll make you even more awkward. There's such a thing as "trying too hard," especially in social situations.
#2: Find your tribe. Find friends who share your interests; trust me, they're out there! If you just can't find any likeminded friends, you may not be in the right environment. Small towns and conservative churches, for example, are often biased against Green personalities.
#3: Practice, practice, practice. If you want to become fluent in a foreign language, you have to practice speaking it. Likewise, if you want to become socially fluent, you have to practice speaking the "language" of body language and social cues. And how do you do that? By socializing, of course!
Believe it or not, it's possible for Green personalities to be socially fluent—just like it's possible for Orange personalities to develop their organizational skills. Like other personality styles, Greens need to play to their strengths. Green personalities have many positive traits. They analyze, they improve, they challenge, and they create. At their core, they are innovators who work to push society forward.
#1: Be yourself. Chances are, trying to be someone else won't make you any less awkward. If anything, it'll make you even more awkward. There's such a thing as "trying too hard," especially in social situations.
#2: Find your tribe. Find friends who share your interests; trust me, they're out there! If you just can't find any likeminded friends, you may not be in the right environment. Small towns and conservative churches, for example, are often biased against Green personalities.
#3: Practice, practice, practice. If you want to become fluent in a foreign language, you have to practice speaking it. Likewise, if you want to become socially fluent, you have to practice speaking the "language" of body language and social cues. And how do you do that? By socializing, of course!
Believe it or not, it's possible for Green personalities to be socially fluent—just like it's possible for Orange personalities to develop their organizational skills. Like other personality styles, Greens need to play to their strengths. Green personalities have many positive traits. They analyze, they improve, they challenge, and they create. At their core, they are innovators who work to push society forward.
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